The NICU Becomes Our Second Home!

Jackson had a harder time adjusting to life on the outside than we initially thought. What was supposed to be 2 days became 7, which then became 14 very long days in the NICU. We had no idea what we were in for! It was by far the most stressful time of my life so far. When we were first told that Jackson needed at least 7 days of treatment, we thought it would free up some time for us to get our apartment ready for him (we had almost nothing ready yet). Boy were we wrong! That was before I knew how hard it would be to be away from Jackson, and before I knew the feeling of overwhelming guilt for not sleeping in the chair in his room overnight- leaving him there without his mommy! We would always stay there until late at night, when Nolan would finally talk me into going home to get some "rest". Every morning the doctors did their rounds and update us on Jackson's progress. It became a roller-coaster ride! He would have a really good day followed by a bad one. Every day his discharge date was postponed, again and and again! I thought we would never get him out of there! By the end of the 14 days, we were so tired of the hospital and the NICU nurses. They do wonderful work, and we really appreciated them, but having someone looking over your shoulder all the time really gets old! I felt like I hadn't gotten to really enjoy Jackson yet. Some days he would have to spend all day in his isolette and I could only take him out to feed him. I wanted so badly to just hold him without him being hooked up to monitors. I just wanted to be alone with him without being interrupted all the time. I wanted to enjoy my baby! I honestly cannot imagine having a baby in the hospital for more than those 14 days. I past the end of my rope! I really feel for the parents who have to deal with it for months.

Besides his breathing problem, Jackson was having bradycardia episodes (dropping heart-rate). I think we stared more at the heart monitor than we did the baby! Every time his heart-rate would drop, an alarm would sound and a nurse would come in to check him. Thankfully, Jackson always pulled himself out of them and never needed resuscitation. His doctors decided that he needed to go home on a portable heart monitor which he would wear 24/7 (except for bath time) for 6 weeks. We had to learn how to use it and what to do to revive him if necessary. I was horrified to take him home on the monitor and I was disappointed that, even after finally getting him home, he would still have to be hooked up to something! I just wanted to cuddle him with no wires attached or beeping machines sounding off all the time! I prayed every day that the doctors would change their minds and, thankfully, last minute on the morning of Jackson's discharge, they did! We were able to bring him home, no strings attached!!!

Jackson also had issues with his biliruben levels and was spitting up bile (yummy!). We had such a hard time getting it under control and the NICU doctors were not going to let him go home until we had it at a safe level. It would go way up, Jackson would go under the lights for a day or two, then it would go down...only to go back up a day later. He ended up having 3 rounds of light therapy! He was at a safe level when we were able to take him home, but went back up again! We just had to watch him and make sure he wasn't sick and continue to get his blood checked every couple weeks until it stayed down. When he wasn't yellow anymore I was worried that something was wrong with him- he looked so pale and different to me. Hopefully we are done with the jaundice for good!

Here's a video of Jackson working on his tan!

I was surprised that his weight was even an issue in the NICU. Some of his nurses called him "Moose" because he was such a big preemie! He was born weighing 6lbs, 6oz and went down to 5lbs, 5oz. All babies lose weight after birth, but Jackson just wasn't gaining it back fast enough for the doctors. His sucking reflex was not quite developed and he literally did not know how to eat. He didn't cry when he was hungry and had to receive nutrients through his IV in the beginning. He also had a tube going down his throat into his tummy to relieve pressure. Getting him to eat was quite a process and I really wasn't sure I was going to be able to breastfeed. His feedings would sometimes take more than an hour! I was very discouraged and wondered how I would ever be able to take care of this baby! Feedings were such a stressful, frustrating time! Eventually, we started fortifying his bottles with preemie formula for more calories and he started gaining weight. He gradually got better and better, and after many tears (mine and his), he finally got it! It took a lot of work and patience, but I finally got him to breastfeed and we were able to stop his fortified bottles soon after bringing him home. Now we have a healthy hungry baby!

Although Jackson's time in the NICU was a very stressful and emotional time for me, I am glad to have had the experience. I made a few friends- other moms of preemies- and we are still in touch. I am thankful that we had some 'training' before taking him home. It was nice to always have someone to answer our questions, tell us whats normal and whats not, feeding advice, etc. I am so thankful that Jackson is a perfect, healthy baby boy and that he didn't have any major, life-threatening complications. Hopefully, I can keep the next one in a little longer!

Oh, and we got the bill- Jackson's 14 days in the NICU cost $70,ooo!!! Thank God we have good insurance!

GO STEELERS! Jackson on Super Bowl Sunday.

During Jackson's time in the hospital, the Pittsburgh Steelers won the Super Bowl against the Arizona Cardinals. His daddy picked up this outfit in the hospital gift shop and the nurses let us take him out of his isolette long enough to take a few pictures in it. We spent all of Super Bowl Sunday with Jackson, but had to leave before half-time due to all the rioting/celebrating that would be taking place in the streets around the hospital that night.

Our very last picture taken of Maximus. R.I.P, Max!

Also during Jackson's hospital stay, we had to put our beloved Maine Coon Maximus down. He had been sick for about a week with what we think was neurological problems. Poor kitty! He was a good cat!

Jackson's First Few Days in the NICU

Jackson was not quite ready to join the world when he was born! Being a Pittsburgh baby, we figured he just had to be here in time to watch the Steelers win the Super Bowl that weekend! Shortly after his birth, he was taked down to the NICU for futher observation due to breathing trouble. While holding him after his birth, he began making a sighing sound. We thought it was so cute, but the doctors were alarmed by it and decided he should be checked out. We were told he would probably only need to be there for 24-48 hours, which seemed like forever to me! I wanted him in my room, bonding with me and Nolan, taking pictures, Showing him off to the family via Skype...but, of course, I wanted a healthy baby first and foremost.

Several long hours later, we were finally allowed to visit our baby in the NICU. He was so beautiful, despite all the tubes and wires everywhere. We were not able to hold him that night, but we were able to touch him through the holes in the isolette. He had an IV in his tiny hand, a tube down his throat, a breathing tube, and heart/breathing monitors. It was hard to see our little guy in that condition, but knew it was for the best. The video below is of Jackson, just a few hours old.

The next morning, we were informed that Jackson needed 7 days of treatment for his breathing, so we wouldn't be taking him home with us. I never imagined I would be leaving the hospital without my baby! We got to hold him that day for short periods of time. Once he was able to eat from a bottle, we learned to feed him, which was quite a challenge since he did not yet have his rooting, sucking reflex and had a tube going down his throat. It took a long time for him to drink his bottle. We also learned to change his diapers through the holes in the Isolette...very tricky! We also discovered, after a good hair-washing, that our red-headed baby was actually blonde!

Most mothers are anxious to leave the hospital, I, on the other hand, was dreading it! I was so hormonal and emotional anyway, I really had no idea how I would react when that time came. I was discharged early in the afternoon and we spent the rest of the day with Jackson. Our childbirth class, which we were only half-way through, met that night just downstairs from the NICU. We decided to show up and see if anyone noticed that I wasn't pregnant anymore. It happened to be the night of the hospital tour (could have used that!) so we sat in the classroom and waited for everyone to return from the tour. I joked about having the tour early, and taking the crash-course in childbirth and everyone figured it out. We shared our story and passed around pictures of Jackson. It was fun to see everyone in our class and say goodbye. We stayed with Jackson until after midnight. It took forever to work up enough strength to leave him there, but finally I tearfully kissed him goodnight, and Nolan listened to me cry the whole way home. This would become routine!